Verne Troyer Sex Tape

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Dear Dido

I’m not sure if you’ll remember but a while ago I bumped into you at the Doctors surgery and got talking about a delicious recipe for Carrot & Coriander Soup

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Dear MTV

Since you started broadcasting your range of programs such as Totally Scott-Lee, Totally Jodie Marsh and Totally Callum Best...

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Dear Penelope Keith

I am planning on throwing myself off the Humber Bridge. Don’t worry Penelope, it’s for charity. I have had lots of media interest in the big event and my aim is to raise a million pounds.

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Dear Sandi Toksvig

I have been a huge fan and followed your career like children follow the scent of Bisto gravy.

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Dear Sophie Ellis Bextor

You disgust me. I wait patiently for you to release your album and over the weeks save £12 thinking that that would be enough.

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Dear Mario

My wife and I watched you propose to Lisa on BBLB yesterday and I had to write to tell you that you confirmed what I already knew – you are the greatest and coolest guy on the planet.

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