Dear The Sun

I have in my possession a collection of Photographs of Mario from Big Brother in a series of provocative and compromising positions.

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Dear Fiona Bruce

My wife and I thoroughly enjoy watching you on the news. You are a gifted presenter and you have the gift of making the most harrowing stories light-hearted and entertaining.

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Dear Coronation Street

I love coronation Street. It has taught me so much about life and love and I am not sure where I would be without it.

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Dear The Daily Star

I have in my possession a collection of Photographs of Mario from Big Brother in a series of provocative and compromising positions.

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Dear Royal Albert Hall

I am currently planning my daughters 6th Birthday party and she has requested that we hire your premises for the day.


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Dear John Major

I was recently partaking in a highbrow conversation with some educated friends following a poetry evening at an exclusive haunt for intellectuals, when one of them suddenly mentioned your name and the room fell to a deathly silence.

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Dear Margaret Thatcher

A lot of my friends and colleagues dislike you and refer to you as Maggie Thatcher Milk Snatcher!

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