Dear Royal Albert Hall

I am currently planning my daughters 6th Birthday party and she has requested that we hire your premises for the day.


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Dear John Major

I was recently partaking in a highbrow conversation with some educated friends following a poetry evening at an exclusive haunt for intellectuals, when one of them suddenly mentioned your name and the room fell to a deathly silence.

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Dear Margaret Thatcher

A lot of my friends and colleagues dislike you and refer to you as Maggie Thatcher Milk Snatcher!

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Dear Ulrika Jonsson

I am a huge fan and since your weathergirl days I have been working on a project for you to star in as I think you have all the qualities of a leading lady.



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Dear John Leslie

I have been a huge fan of yours since the Blue Peter days and have followed your career with a great deal of enthusiasm.

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Dear Jane McDonald

I think you are wonderful and I am so proud that a woman like you can do so well for herself. There are a couple of things I REALLY need to know about you.

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Dear Christine Bleakey

I think you are inspiring on the one show but my reception on BBC1 is quite bad so I was wondering if you would be so kind as to move it to BBC2.

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