Verne Troyer Sex Tape

Pervert! You just tried to watch the Mini Me Sex tape. Instead a letter has been sent to your parents and friends and your name will go on a list alongside Fred & Rose West.

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Dear Dido

I’m not sure if you’ll remember but a while ago I bumped into you at the Doctors surgery and got talking about a delicious recipe for Carrot & Coriander Soup

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Dear MTV

Since you started broadcasting your range of programs such as Totally Scott-Lee, Totally Jodie Marsh and Totally Callum Best...

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Dear Penelope Keith

I am planning on throwing myself off the Humber Bridge. Don’t worry Penelope, it’s for charity. I have had lots of media interest in the big event and my aim is to raise a million pounds.

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Dear Sandi Toksvig

I have been a huge fan and followed your career like children follow the scent of Bisto gravy.

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Dear Sophie Ellis Bextor

You disgust me. I wait patiently for you to release your album and over the weeks save £12 thinking that that would be enough.

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Dear Mario

My wife and I watched you propose to Lisa on BBLB yesterday and I had to write to tell you that you confirmed what I already knew – you are the greatest and coolest guy on the planet.

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Dear The Sun

I have in my possession a collection of Photographs of Mario from Big Brother in a series of provocative and compromising positions.

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Dear Fiona Bruce

My wife and I thoroughly enjoy watching you on the news. You are a gifted presenter and you have the gift of making the most harrowing stories light-hearted and entertaining.

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Dear Coronation Street

I love coronation Street. It has taught me so much about life and love and I am not sure where I would be without it.

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Dear The Daily Star

I have in my possession a collection of Photographs of Mario from Big Brother in a series of provocative and compromising positions.

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Dear Royal Albert Hall

I am currently planning my daughters 6th Birthday party and she has requested that we hire your premises for the day.


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Dear John Major

I was recently partaking in a highbrow conversation with some educated friends following a poetry evening at an exclusive haunt for intellectuals, when one of them suddenly mentioned your name and the room fell to a deathly silence.

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Dear Margaret Thatcher

A lot of my friends and colleagues dislike you and refer to you as Maggie Thatcher Milk Snatcher!

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Dear Ulrika Jonsson

I am a huge fan and since your weathergirl days I have been working on a project for you to star in as I think you have all the qualities of a leading lady.



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Dear John Leslie

I have been a huge fan of yours since the Blue Peter days and have followed your career with a great deal of enthusiasm.

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Dear Jane McDonald

I think you are wonderful and I am so proud that a woman like you can do so well for herself. There are a couple of things I REALLY need to know about you.

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Dear Christine Bleakey

I think you are inspiring on the one show but my reception on BBC1 is quite bad so I was wondering if you would be so kind as to move it to BBC2.

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Dear Mariella Frostrup

I am in a desperate situation at the moment and feel cornered by what I have witnessed in the past two weeks. I can’t speak to anyone about this as I am too embarrassed.

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Dear Geri Halliwell

I am a huge fan of your work and I have all of the albums and singles you have done on all formats twice, in case any of them break. I can’t wait to hear your new material.

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